Sticks And Stones May Break My Bones But Words Will Never Hurt Me

Proverbs 7 illustrates well the truth found in the old saying “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” The context shows a seductress with her words (and other) will tempt a man to commit adultery (21). Her words can do damage, but only if her intended victim lets the words do damage (25ff), that is, if he succumbs to her temptation (James 1:14-15). The old saying under consideration is making the point that we can’t avoid being hurt if someone physically strikes us with a stick or stone, but if someone strikes us with words (perhaps with an unjustified insult), we can have the mental fortitude (constitution) to not let that hurt us. Having that type of constitution (I Cor 16:13b) will help us regularly accomplish what Rom 12:17-21 enjoins – returning/overcoming evil with good. No we should never use the old saying as a justification for being ugly to others with our words. That is missing the point of the adage entirely. We certainly will hurt someone with such approach. The point of the proverb is that when others are ugly to us, we have a choice about whether or not to let their words hurt us. My parents wisely taught me this old saying in my youth when kids were being mean to me verbally, and I did the same with my kids. We all need to remember its lesson (even as adults) whenever we are being verbally abused.

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