What Does It Mean To Disfellowship A Brother?

There has been a lot written in the last several years about who we should fellowship based upon which issues are disagreed upon. This article is not intended to try to answer that tough question. Instead, this article’s focus will be on what the Bible teaches we are to do when we do have to disfellowship an erring brother in Christ.

Most of our brethren understand part of what it means to “mark” a Christian who has gone off in sin. For example, they won’t invite a false teacher to hold a gospel meeting, or call on him for prayer in the public assemblies (Ephesians 5:11). However it seems many brethren don’t follow through on other steps that are equally required by God’s word. I Corinthians 5:9 and II Thessalonians 3:14 show we are not to keep (social) company with brethren we withhold or withdraw fellowship from. I Corinthians 5:11 goes so far as to say we are not even to eat with them. Many seem to ignore these last two requirements. It seems many believe in obeying Romans 16:17a (mark brethren in error), but not Romans 16:17b (avoid brethren in error). I recently heard of a preacher who moved into a congregation and ate with a sister who had recently been withdrawn from, saying he had a right to eat with anyone. Needless to say, he split the congregation over his lack of a stand for truth.

Some make a distinction between “not having fellowship” and “withdrawing,” but the Bible makes it clear in the above verses that the latter must necessarily follow the former. Some say we can’t eat with brethren from the local church who have been withdrawn from, but the same wouldn’t apply to brethren elsewhere … As if our responsibility to love our brethren changes based upon our physical location. Paul sometimes withdrew from people from where he (Paul) was not a local member (I Timothy 1:20, I Corinthians 5:3). God’s rule in I Corinthians 5:9-13 is that a person “called a brother” who is a fornicator (etc.) is one you shouldn’t keep company with or not eat with. His rule doesn’t include the part about the person having to be a part of your local congregation. I Timothy 6:3-5 tells us to withdraw from certain people and it does not specify the requirement that they be fellow congregational members. II Thessalonians 3:6 says we are to withdraw from “every” brother that walketh disorderly (not just brethren in our local congregation). So whatever "walketh disorderly" means, we cannot keep company with such a brother, regardless of what congregation he is a member of.

Suppose your best friend is a faithful member at a congregation 10 miles away. Suppose you and he are used to getting together for lunch once a week or so. Then suppose out of the blue, he openly decides he is a homosexual, and the congregation where he is a member withdraws from him when he won’t repent. Aren’t many saying the members of that congregation couldn’t eat with him, but you could? Suppose that congregation then asks you be their regular preacher. You accept, so then you have to stop eating with him. Then five years later, you leave that congregation, so now you can start eating with him again? Do you really think that is what Paul taught? If he taught that, where does he mention it?

One preacher recently preached “I don’t think that by the phrase ‘not even to eat with such a one’ that they can’t be … at the same table … when you are eating.” Can someone explain go me how you can eat at the same table with someone, but not eat with them? I guess I can’t be sure exactly what that preacher had in mind, but it sure sounds like he is trying to figure out a way you can eat with a brother who has been withdrawn from, even though the Bible clearly says not to.

Some teach you can eat with the one who has been disfellowshipped as long as you don’t give them the impression that you think they are in a right relationship with God. Some say you can eat with them if you are doing it for a spiritual purpose. Aren’t these are all just excuses to do what God has expressly forbidden; eating with them? Besides, a faithful Christian is supposed to do everything he does with a spiritual purpose, right?

For many Christians, it appears that disfellowshipping brethren in sin is just a lot of talk, but no real action. They claim they withdraw fellowship for this or that, but in actuality they never withdraw from anybody. If we really love our brethren, we will follow through on all the actions that God requires to be involved in their discipline.

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